I'm always second choice to the people around me, and it really fucking sucks (pardon the swear word). When I say "people" I mean my friends, whether it's to their significant others or other friends, I'm the one who always comes in second. And before I sound jealous and bitter I want to state why this bothers me, it bothers me because they show it off right in front of me. I feel that now that I not only live 700 miles away from my friends in California, but now I live about 40 minutes away from my friends in Arizona, if I make time and plan out us hanging out, then we should have fun together. I shouldn't have to worry about you leaving me for someone else, or you leaving me to be on the phone with someone, or just completely bringing up another person in every conversation we have, it should just be you and I enjoying each others company since we don't get to be together often. BUT no in every friendship, even down to my "best friends" their is ALWAYS someone more important then me, and to no one I'm that one person. I'm the one you leave or just bring up others just because WHY NOT, hey I'll be cool with it right?
I just want to be someones number one, and looking whenever I was it was short lived. Instead of wasting time with people who don't seem to care, I'm just going to stop trying for awhile. It's much easier to be alone, then with someone who seems like they rather be with someone else.
